The Promise

Not many people know that I have a sister...even my own kids really never knew Aunt Karen because she lived in Texas and I in Arizona.  We never had the money to travel much so visits were few and far between.  Dad was a Crane Operator and in 1974 his career landed us in Joseph City, Arizona where he helped build the Cholla Power Plant.  I was 13 years old and so very sad that we had to leave Chandler, AZ for a place that wasn't even on the map. 
I met Karen or rather saw her for the first time on my first day of school.  She was in 7th grade and I was in 8th.  We both attended the First Southern Baptist Church in Holbrook, Az and became friends.  Karen was shy, quiet and very reserved.  She had one good friend, Teddy, and then me.  She lived with her Grandpa Ray Snyder.  Ray was sweet and kind and always told me how he appreciated me being a friend to Karen. 
One Sunday after church Ray asked if he could have a word with me.  He proceeded to tell me that he was getting on in years and didn't expect to be around much longer.  He shared how he hoped to be around long enough to see her graduated from High School.  He then said, "I don't expect you to take Karen in...that would be too much to ask of any one. But my death will be hard on her and she will be alone.  She lost her Grandmother when she was 11 and there is no one else.  Will you promise to be there for her when my time comes.  Help her through the funeral before the state takes her away?"  I promised him that I would be there for Karen.
Brother Snyder died suddenly the following Saturday morning.  I was in Flagstaff with my parents visiting my ailing grandmother and didn't learn of Ray's death until church on Sunday.  It broke my heart and Ray's words came rushing back to me along with the promise I had made.  Karen was at church and I sat beside her...she was silent and still...and I didn't know how I was going to "Be there for her" I didn't even know what to say, except "I'm Sorry". 
I went home from church and changed my clothes.  I sat down at the kitchen table and watched mom making tuna salad sandwhiches when I suddenly burst into tears.  She turned around and asked what was wrong.  I told her about Karen.  Mom and Dad didn't go to church I always went alone and they had never met Karen.  She new I walked to her home after school to visit her on occasion but that was it.  I told her about her situation and that the state would be taking her away after the Funeral.  This next part I will never forget.  Mother wiped her hands on her apron then grabbed her car keys and said, "Show me where she lives."  When we arrived at her home mom told me to stay in the car.  She walked in and I later learned that she confronted Ray's married children.  She discovered that none of them wanted Karen.  She told Karen that she would always have a place with us and that was it.  We went home and I learned after the funeral that Karen was moving to Texas to live with her old friend Teddy.  Mom gave Karen our phone number and said, "If it doesn't work out call us."  That was in March of 1976.  Karen moved to Texas.  Then one day late in August, it was county fair time, we were eating dinner when the phone rang.  I answered the phone and it was Karen.  Teddy's family kicked her out of their home once they discovered there was no inheritance and she had no place to go.  Mom told her to get to the airport where a ticket would be waiting.  She flew into Phoenix and we went and picked her up.  Her adoption was final on Christmas Eve just months later.
There is a lot of mystery surrounding Karen.  We believe Ray and Olive's only daughter gave birth to Karen and she left the baby with her parents to raise.  She always believed her birthday to be October 30th but the only birth document the lawyers found cited her birthday as October 13th with a different last name.  Any way I won't get into all of that.  Karen was now a Jordan and that's all that mattered.
She moved to Texas shortly after high school and married.  In 30 years I have never been able to go visit her but Karen has made it home a few times.  We kept in touch over the years through letters then later via the internet.  She came home in 1997 for mom's funeral then in 2000 for a brief visit and not again until this past week.  I was so excited to see her and have her meet the grandkids. Even RaLee felt like she was meeting Karen for the first time.  Karen was never blessed with children of her own so it is just her and her husband.

We had a nice time and stayed up late every night talking.  We talked about all of the things that happened in her life and how we came to be "Sisters".  When she talked about Ray she said, "All daddy wanted was to live long enough to see me graduated so he would know I could be on my own.  I don't understand why the Lord didn't grant him that one wish."  I told her, "Karen had Ray lived I would have graduated and moved on and you and I would not be family.  You would have spent the rest of your life alone.  The Lord had his hand in things and you have a family."  She thought about that for a bit and said, "Your right.  God did answer daddy's prayers after all.  I had never thought about it that way before."

Here is a family picture taken just after the adoption...I made Mom's, Karen's and my dress.  Mom was so excited to have TWO girls, both of us were 16 years old just 12 weeks apart, and she wanted us in matching dresses. 
Left to right:  Liz(me), Pat (Dad), Karen, Francine (Mom), and our Brother Mike

34 Years Later

It was good to be together again.  Of course we are older and fatter, and our mother is no longer with us but she is my sister and I love her.  Ray had no one else to turn to except me, a 15 year old girl...that was all he had...all of the hopes for his 15 year old daughters future was placed on a promise from a 15 year old.  I think about my own kids and I know how scared he had to have been.  I bet he never dreamed things would turn out the way they did.  I am so thankful Ray talked to me that day...because sisters we were meant to be.