After my first Grand baby was born I went to the gift shop and bought him the cutest little stuffed cow and placed it in his bassinet. When Kaitlen was born I bought her a stuffed unicorn with a crown. Wayne's was a Lion. I kept this little tradition and the girls looked forward to the animal I would pick for each baby.
Then Sage was born. We had little money so I didn't get to buy him a stuffed toy but I was always thinking about it. Then one day I found the perfect one at Target. It was a really cute puppy with a bandanna around his neck and it reminded me of Sage. Still broke I resolved to save the $10 I needed and prayed one would still be there. A few months later with money in hand I went to Target and was SO happy to see that there was one Stuffed puppy left!
Crystal had given me a gift card to JoAnn's for my birthday and I found the perfect matching puppy fabric. I decided to wait before I gave Sage his puppy until I made his matching quilt.
As I stood on the sidewalk and watched the coroner close the door on the van that would take Sage's little body away I was devastated. I turned to go back into Crystal's home and as I reached the front door I remembered the puppy and the quilt I never made. My knees buckled under me and I sobbed. I was so angry with myself for not giving Sage his puppy immediately.
Three weeks later Isabelle was born and I did not buy a stuffed animal. I just couldn't bring myself to do it. Then Caden was born and again I did not buy him a toy. But after Crystal gave birth to Ellie she called me the next morning and gave me a list of things she needed me to pick up at Target to bring to the hospital. Then before hanging up she said, "Oh and Mom buy her a stuffed toy."
It was very emotional buying Ellie's toy but after some looking this little bear in a tutu just seemed to shout "Ellie Mae". I also got her the matching set of fairy wings.
A few days ago we dressed Ellie in her wings and took some pictures.
I still have Sage's puppy and quilt fabric. I don't know what I am going to do with them but I have a feeling that Heavenly Father will guide me and let me know. I am also thinking that it is time Isabelle, Caden and now Nolan get a stuffed animal from Grandma too.
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4 comments:
I thought these picture turned out so pretty. Ellie is getting so big, I love being able to see her everyday. When Sage was little we lived an hour away I didn't get to see him very much. I love seeing how happy she makes my sister and her family.
In deed it is time.
And the pics are so darling. you do have a gift my friend!
i love your photos.. thanks for sharing the story.. glad you got Ellie hers..
and to comment on Nolans birth.. what great daughters you have raised.. amazing!!!
I love how your family seems to be so gifted at taking pictures. Ellie is adorable! These came out beautifully! Also, I'm sorry about Sage's puppy and quilt. I find that there are so many regrets when my son died and they keep popping up in my mind at times. Just last week I had scheduled an appointment at Target to get my baby's portrait taken and I remembered that I never had Caleb's taken. He was the only child of ours (7 children in all) that never had a professional portrait done. Now I will never have that opportunity. God will carry us through these difficult times.
With Hope,
Cheryl
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